For those of you who read my last blog (and if you haven’t, I recommend you do for a laugh or some musing), the story had a happy and highly unusual ending. Yes, the thief returned my phone! Miracle of miracles (praying to Jesus DOES work!!!)

However, my run-ins with the law have, alas, not come to an end. Last week I went to Toronto, Canada for some medical research. I’ve been sacrificing my body to science for years. A regular guinea pig. Or lab rat. However, you see it. ;)

I had made the trip to Canada in December with no hiccups... unless you count the emergency procedure on the day of my flight back as a one. But that’s a story for another time.

I exited my plane, filled out the appropriate forms, and got in line for customs. I thought I was good to go when the officer asked me one question, made a huge "x" on my customs form and told me to proceed. Little did I know that "x" means you are in trouble. I stepped out of line and thought I was going to the baggage claim.

I absolutely was not.

I was quickly ushered into the immigration room with all of other people illegally trying to sneak into Canada. Oh wait, I had a legitimate reason. Nonetheless, I was assigned to officer 1 and my case was opened in Canada.

"What are you doing in Canada" said the officer.
"I’m here for medical reasons" said I.
"No, you are not," said the officer, and again, "Why are you here"
"I’m sorry, but I AM here for medical reasons"
"Do you know Peggy Brown?" continued the officer.
"No, sir, never heard of her, never met her" said I.
"Yes, you have. How do you know Peggy" he said, "do you run this business together."

Completely baffled I press on "I do not know this person. I don’t know what you are talking about."
"What did the officer ask you the last time you came here?" he said.
I told him.
"And then what?" said the officer.
"And then I got my bags and went to my hotel..."
"No, you did not," he said. "You were shipped back to the US."
"No sir, I was not. I stayed in Toronto for a week"

This interrogation went on for quite some time. I was assured that I was lying every few minutes. Finally, after about 45 minutes I was told to hand over all of my papers and my cell phone (and I had just gotten it back from the thief!)

I went and sat by three men from Africa who all had stories of their own. I prayed. I tried to read my book, "Out of the Silent Planet" by C.S. Lewis. I sang hymns under my breath (hey, Paul and Silas sang in prison). I was called up, interrogated some more. I was told I was lying some more. I handed over every phone number to every respectable person I knew.

This went on for at least 4 hours. I was not allowed to eat and hadn’t eaten all day (I thought I would when I got off the flight and APPARENTLY they don’t even serve peanuts on flights anymore). I was not allowed to call anyone.

I was the last person left in the room at the end of the day.

Finally, my assigned officer called me over again. "I believe you," he said. "Last December a girl came through here on the same day as you through the same terminal. She said she was coming here for the same reason you claimed. She was found to be involved in illegal activity and sent back to the US. Because of all of these coincidences, you have been flagged and will be questioned and possibly denied entry, every time you try to enter Canada until 2012. After speaking with your doctor, I believe you and am issuing you a visitor’s pass until Sunday. You must leave by then. I’m sorry I was so mean. I’m just trying to do my job, you know."

So I forgave him and left to find my bags. Since most flights had come and gone, it took me a good 30 minutes to sift through all of the excess or lost baggage to find my own. Once I finally found my bag I headed toward the taxi drivers. One offered me a ride right away. I agreed to it and started walking toward the exit. He shortly grabbed another guy, stopped walking and told me this new guy would be my driver. The new driver took a sharp right back into the airport. What was going on?!? Dumbly I followed, into the elevator, out into the parking garage, to an unmarked van.

"Are you really a taxi driver," I say.
"Yes, I’ll show you my papers, get in."

And so I do.

Because I’m tired. And I’m starving. It’s 8:30 PM and I haven’t eaten anything all day...